Hitting A Wall

One of my good friends told me that she likes to read blogs that are real and not always happy and perfect. Another friend reminded me today that I should share the hard times and not just the good times and the laughs…

So - yes - I hit a wall about a week ago…

I hit the ground running and was feeling like I was pretty amazing being able to adapt so quickly to life in Japan. But being by myself ALL THE TIME is hard!! I have enjoyed some of the time by myself very much and I love our little apartment but being alone is getting old fast. If my friend Charles had not introduced me to Nicky, there is no way I would be okay right now.

I am not used to being socially isolated - it is NOT how I roll… During the week I am okay for the most part, although everyone is quite focused at the high school so there's not much chatting… and then there is the fact that I don’t speak the language very well (okay a few laughs)... but the weekends are tough - really tough. I am lucky to receive some invitations but for the most part the reality is that I am alone. And not just alone or alone by my choosing.

I am isolated. Isolated by the distance, isolated by the time difference between Asia and North America, isolated by the language and recently, isolated by technology.

I know that loneliness and isolation can cause depression so I am being careful.

What I need is two things… INTERNET!!!!!! (long story - 5 more days) and I need to hear that Mark has been approved for his “certificate of eligibility”. I need to have things to look forward to and I have been living with so many “unknowns” for many months now. I don’t like it. When he actually books that flight to come here I will be able to breathe again. I am not in my late twenties or early thirties looking for an independent adventure. This adventure is supposed to be with him - not by myself.

So - in about 5 days - I hope to be “Waa Hooing” all over instagram.

Stay tuned.

PS I have enough wifi to “message” so reach out when you can…